"Now, puddies," I told my babies, trying to get their attention. "Mommy's going to read an excerpt from her new book, NOAH'S NOTEBOOK, and she wants your full attention. No yawning and no droopy eyes, or there'll be no boned white fish tonight." Here goes:
"The wives had a bit of a shock today. While the boys and I were out buying more wheat, the women stayed on deck rearranging barrels, puffing out pillows, and making sure we had enough air fresheners. All of sudden, the ground starts to shake.
"Don't look now," Shem's wife tells her mother-in-law, "but two elephants, two water buffalo, a couple of camels, and some giraffes are coming this way."
And as if that weren't bad enough, she says, "Oh and how cute. Look, two spiders are walking behind them."
My wife screams to high heaven: "SPIDERS!" Then she runs away and hides behind some bags of barley. You should have heard the uproar when I got home.
"A FEW animals, you told me. Some cats, a few dogs. MAYBE an elephant," she yells. "YOU NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT SPIDERS!"
"Don't worry," I reassure her: "They can bunk in Ham's room."
"That was great, Mommy," MacDuff said. "But if I were Mrs. Noah, I'd just have eaten the spiders and been done with it."
"Yes, McDuff, and that's why Mommy loves you."