Tuesday, March 24, 2009

The Fish Ate My Homework....No, They Ate My Feet

Okay, okay....even in these belt-tightening times, a lady has to look her best.

Now some women spend boku bucks on expensive creams and collagen treatments. Some have face lifts now and again, and then again and again. Others spend fortunes on hair cuts and dye jobs.

As for me, all I want is for my feet to look human. So I go to the Korean nail place down the street and when they're finally finished with me, I can stop wearing my shoes to bed.

I love this luxury because aside from transforming my Neanderthal feet into something more recognizable, they are always coming up with new ways to do it: a green sea salt treatment; a pink rose exfoliating treatment; a fish-nibbling-your-callous-away-treatment. Say what?

Yup...though it hasn't hit my salon as yet, if I go to Virginia, I can get my feet "done" by dozens of tiny garra rufa carp, which (according to a March 24th article in The Wall Street Journal) like to swim around and eat dead skin off of people's feet. Honest. A salon owner, John Ho, brought the procedure--and the fish--back from China.

Other states have banned the fish due to sanitary constraints. Seems instruments used in multiple pedicures must be sanitized at high temperatures after every use...which in this case, would render the fish better suited for us eating them then them eating us. Or they could be discarded, a prohibitive move given the cost of the feet eaters.

Though I'm game to try new things, I'm not quite sure I would want a bunch of fish, no matter how small, eating any part of me. I mean, who knows, if I'm that delicious, they might want to bite off the "little piggy that went to market," or the one that went "wheeee, all the way home," and I'll wind up with one or two less piggies...I mean, toes.

Still, when my female puddies heard about the new procedure, they were simply besides themselves. And I know what they're thinking: When the new pedicure specialists make it to our local salon, maybe if mommy tips the nice lady really really really well, we can not only get our nails done, but also have fresh sushi for lunch. Oh goodie, goodie, yummy yummy.

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